As a mum of two and a CBT therapist, I had imagined myself entering the summer holidays with calm acceptance, a colour‑coded schedule, and the emotional flexibility of a seasoned yogi. In reality, I spent most mornings clutching my coffee like a life raft, whispering “We’ve got this,” while mentally calculating how many hours of childcare I could stitch together before someone melted down — possibly me.

Now that the summer holidays have ended, I can clearly see how much of the invisible mental load I was carrying. The mental load in women doesn’t lighten during school breaks; it intensifies. And for many mums, it quietly pushes them toward mum burnout long before September arrives.

Throughout the holidays, I found myself juggling a familiar mix of guilt, pressure, and emotional overwhelm. There was the guilt — constant, nagging guilt — about signing my eldest up for summer clubs. The ones marketed as “fun, enriching, confidence‑building,” which every mum knows is code for “a place your child will go while you attempt to work, breathe, or remember who you are.”

I reminded myself that these clubs were good for them — new friends, new skills, energy burned off. And yet, the whisper of “Shouldn’t I be doing more?” kept creeping in. That whisper is part of the mental load mums carry, the emotional responsibility layered on top of the practical tasks.

There was also the relief — genuine relief — that my youngest was in nursery all summer. A small part of me wondered if this made me a terrible mother. The therapist part of me gently reminded the mum part that this was a normal, human reaction. The mum part rolled her eyes and said, “Fine, but can we still feel guilty?” And so the internal debate continued.

This was emotional overwhelm in real time: guilt layered on relief layered on exhaustion layered on pressure.

Looking back, I can see how mum burnout quietly built throughout the summer. Perfectionist thoughts thrived in the chaos. They whispered things like:

• “A good mum would create magical memories every day.”
• “You should be cherishing every moment.”
• “Other mums seem to be coping better.”

These thoughts felt convincing, but they weren’t facts. They were mental habits — predictable ones, especially when women are tired, overstimulated, and carrying the full emotional and organisational load of the household.

By late August, I wasn’t just tired. I was depleted. Irritable. Snappy. Drained. The kind of burnout that doesn’t announce itself loudly — it simply settles in and makes everything feel heavier. This is the reality of women’s mental health during the summer holidays, even though few mums talk about it openly.

How CBT Helped Me Reframe the Summer Holiday Pressure

CBT teaches us to pause and examine our thoughts rather than obey them. When I finally challenged my own perfectionist thinking, the shift was subtle but powerful.

Instead of “I’m failing,” it became:

“I did my best in a demanding season.”

Instead of “I should enjoy every moment,” it became:

“Some moments were lovely, some were hard, and that was normal.”

Instead of “Everyone else is coping,” it became:

“Everyone else was juggling too, even if I couldn’t see it.”

And when the thought shifted, the feeling shifted too. Guilt softened. Pressure loosened. Space opened up for humour, connection, and the occasional moment of genuine joy — like the rare times both kids were entertained at the same time and I actually drank my coffee while it was still warm.

This is exactly what therapy for mums supports: recognising the mental load, reducing perfectionism, and building kinder, more realistic expectations of yourself.

Women’s Mental Health Deserves Attention — Especially After Summer

Motherhood wasn’t transformed by perfect planning or perfect behaviour this summer. It was transformed by noticing my thoughts, challenging the ones that piled on pressure, and choosing gentler ones. It was transformed by accepting that balance was dynamic, messy, and often held together by summer clubs, nursery days, and a well‑timed snack.

So if you’re looking back on the summer holidays feeling stretched, guilty, relieved, overwhelmed, hopeful, or all of the above — you’re not alone. You carried a huge mental load. You did enough. And you’re allowed to enter September with compassion for yourself, not criticism.

You made it through a demanding season. That matters.